Category: Grave

(With the flashiest of thanks to James Reitano.)

As anticipated, The Smoking Gun has posted Tom DeLay’s mugshot, taken earlier this afternoon. The wire services, however, lack our EXCLUSIVE* Ultrrrra-Zoom technology, and seem to have missed out on the hidden story, the coded message that Rep. DeLay is sending to a particular subset of his would-be base:


SEE ALSO: The blogosphere’s semi-ridiculous Libby Writes IN CODE to Miller?, Daily Kos, October 1, 2005
*With all due reverence to Golden Fiddle. You go, boyfriend!

President George W. Bush: colorblind, or blind to reality?
From Education Law Gets First Test in U.S. Schools, the New York Times, October 20, 2005:

Fourth-grade math students showed some of the most rapid progress in closing the achievement gap between black and white students, Mr. Kingsbury said. Extrapolating from those results, he said, black and white students would probably be performing at equal proficiency levels by 2034. Other results, like eighth-grade reading, suggest it will take 200 years or more for the gap to close, he said.

From President and Secretary Spellings Discuss Nation’s Report Card, hurling forth from the straight-shooting mouth of President Bush (via the White House’s Office of the Press Secretary), October 19, 2005:

This is an encouraging report. Thank you for coming, Madam Secretary, because it shows there’s an achievement gap in America that is closing; that minority students, particularly in fourth grade math and fourth grade reading are beginning to catch up with their Anglo counterparts.

Embattled former House majority leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), looking sharp in a shirt-and-sportcoat combo by BCBG Max Azria ($2749)
Texas Court Issues Arrest Warrant for DeLay, the Washington Post, October 19, 2005:

A Texas court today issued an arrest warrant for Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), the powerful former House majority leader, ordering him to appear for booking at a county jail in his home district.
[…]
However, the defense reportedly had hoped to avoid submitting DeLay, formerly the second-ranking Republican leader in the House, to the fingerprinting and mug shot photography that accompanies a formal arrest.

President Bush waves goodbye as he finishes speaking via video teleconference to American troops from the 42nd Infantry Division on duty in Tikrit, Iraq, at the White House in Washington, Thursday, Oct. 13, 2005. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)
RELATED: White House Iraq Group targeted by Fitzgerald probe for engineering attacks against the invasion of Iraq, Talking Points Memo, October 12, 2005
Report Says White House Ignored C.I.A. on Iraq Chaos, the New York Times, October 13, 2005
Because it’s all about supporting the troops, gang.

The Guardian (UK) reports on the suicide, or rather, ‘suicide’ of a senior member of Syria’s government earlier today.
Other notable Guardian headlines throughout history:

Nirvana frontman ‘commits suicide’
Federal building ‘bombed’ in Oklahoma City
14 students ‘killed’ at a Colorado high school
Medicare bill ‘passes’ through Congress
Texas governor ‘elected’ U.S. president

And of course, this has been yet another ‘brilliant’ low culture post.

And if you’re wondering what’s going on in the photo directly above, here’s the actual, honest-to-god caption, courtesy the Washington Post:

Court nominee Harriet Miers and Sen. Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vt.) discussed Vermont’s foliage.
Photo Credit: By Melina Mara — The Washington Post

From what can only be described as hailing from a zero-degrees-Kelvin circle of hell, the following news item has appeared:
Bush Urges Conservation as Retail Gas Prices Rise, the New York Times, September 26, 2005:

President Bush called on Americans to conserve gasoline and avoid non-essential driving today as the average national prices for retail gasoline climbed higher for the first time since they peaked over the Labor Day weekend.

Slowly but surely, you’ve been opening these floodgates of passion, my liberal, free-spending darling.
Let’s do it, George. Leave your clown-faced wife. It’s you and me, now. Just us. Let’s roll around in the protected marshlands together. Let’s run off to Northampton and get married. You and me, let’s start hugging the trees when we’re not too busy making sweet, gay love.

From Living Too Much In the Bubble?, Time, September 11, 2005:

On the Monday that Hurricane Katrina landed and the Crescent City began drowning, Bush was joshing with Senator John McCain on the tarmac of an Air Force base in Arizona, posing with a melting birthday cake. Like a scene out of a Michael Moore mockumentary, he was heading into a long-planned Medicare round table at a local country club, joking that he had “spiced up” his entourage by bringing the First Lady, then noting to the audience that he had phoned Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff from Air Force One. “I said, ‘Are you working with the Governor?'” Bush recounted. “He said, ‘You bet we are.'” But the President was not talking about the killer storm. He was talking about immigration, and the Governor was Arizona’s.

From Bush’s Booze Crisis, The National Enquirer, September 21, 2005:

“When the levees broke in New Orleans, it apparently made him reach for a shot,” said one insider. “He poured himself a Texas-sized shot of straight whiskey and tossed it back. The First Lady was shocked and shouted: “Stop George!”

Sure, it’s a logical explanation for the last month’s worth of public appearances — but does this make the President the second man to appear before the United Nations General Assembly smashed out of his gourd?
Or the third?