Month: August 2004

The chairman
Guys, you know when your girlfriend asks you if you she ‘looks fat in this’ and you have to be like, “No way! You look fantastic!” But sometimes she does kinda look fat in that and maybe a guy on the street will say something like “thick” as she passes and you have to be like, “That guy is insane! You do not look fat at all!” But you’re sort of relieved that someone else got to say it and not you? (Gals, this is probably like when your boyfriend asks about his endowment and you have to spin like Ari Fleischer at Equinox.)
Anyway, that’s what it must be like to review a film critical of your boss for the newspaper your boss owns and operates.
Poor Meghan Lehman drew the short straw and had to review Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism for The New York Post, while her colleague Lou Lumenick got to see Code 46. (Mysteriously, Outfoxed‘s website is down! Coincidence?… Probably.)
With a headline like FAIR AND BALANCED, THIS DOC’S NOT, you can kind of guess what the critic is going to say without even reading the review. Lehman’s conclusion? “Unbalanced.” But my favorite part is this little rah-rah nut graph towards the end:

Fox News Channel consistently beats CNN and MSNBC, yet Greenwald approaches not a single viewer to probe the reasons for its popularity, nor a single current employee.

Yay! (I’ll leave it to this guy to confirm or refute that claim.)
Related, in today’s Post: BIZ LEADERS HAILED AS HARLEM HEROES “Post Publisher Lachlan Murdoch received an Excellence in Journalism Award…” As his father would say, “Excellent.”

Thursday. Some say it’s the new Friday, and Friday is the new Saturday, and so on and so forth, but I say Thursday is still yesterday.
Yesterday, my friends, was quite a day. From the FEMALE PERSPECTIVE, of course. You want the grit and gristle of womanhood? Here it comes:
What would give you insight? Um, how about a trip to that affordable mecca of disposable fashion, H&M? Yes! That’s right: females like to shop. And when you’re this particular female, you shop on a budget. The Swedish superstore is the solution! Retail therapy is a cheaper version of Klonopin, after all.
Unfortunately, H&M was doused in pink. Yep — pink shirts, pink pants, pink fucking socks from floor to ceiling. Suffice to say, Peptowhatever is in.
Not that I have a problem with pink.
I just don’t like looking like a precious, vomitous mess. At least not on Thursday. Instead, I bought a brown shirt. And I bought it to look “hot” for you “men” so I don’t have to “buy” my “own drinks.”
Until the pay scale is completely equal, this is how it will be. At least it’s all out on the table.

So, in some strange twist of fate, my internet “presence” has landed over here at the lovely low culture where, I suppose, I am expected to lend a female voice. Meanwhile, JP will be launching diatribes of undetermined nature over at my old and neglected site, The Blueprint.
Female voice. Interesting. Inevitably, such a directive will lead to talk of menstruation — and I’m not sure I’m ready to confess to you all that I’m two weeks late.
That being said, I’ll be here and there today but more present tomorrow, at which point I’ll have a better understanding of what it means to be a woman, thanks to some handy lessons from Matt and JP.

Actually, no. It’s a highly stylized riot in South Korea.
Earlier iPod parodies: Here, here, and here.