Categories
Shallow

“Man Who Would Be Woody” Has publicist who would be Rubenstein

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The board reads: “AIM: Get Famous By Selling Own Hand-me-Down Neuroses.”
Coming soon to JTV: Straight Frum My Heart, a new reality dating show hosted by Keith Black, future relationships columnist for HEEB, and inspiration for a posable action figure (with tefillan grip!) from McFarlane Toys.
You know Keith Black, the new Woody Allen, right? He’s everywhere, except on Friday nights and Saturday mornings. He’s even in the papers:

“As a neurotic, bespectacled, highly therapized Jewish filmmaker from New York, Keith Black has more than a few things in common with his idol Woody Allen—except for one.
“‘I’m looking for my Annie Hall,’ says the lovelorn 35-year-old, whose new short film, ‘Get the Script to Woody Allen,’ is as concerned with his dating mishaps than his desire to be famous….”

THE MAN WHO WOULD BE WOODY, by Maureen Callahan, The New York Post, Aug. 10, 2004
Too bad his dream girl‘s taken.
Oh well, you certainly can’t buy publicity like that, right?
Or this:
Following in Woody’s Footsteps
Or this:
Today Malverne, Tomorrow Cannes?
Or these:
A Woody Wannabe Mines His Neuroses
Allen Encounter Adds Up to Black’s ‘Woody Short’
Woody Wannabe Plays Many Roles with ‘Script’
[Links via Keith Black’s website]

Categories
Shallow

Harold and Kumar Go On Friendster

For those interested in learning more about America’s greatest civil rights triumph since the march from Selma, aka Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, you might want to check out co-writer Jon Hurwitz’s Friendster profile.
Among his nine testimonials, there is the Asian Harold who offers:

Jon writes about and enjoys life by chronicling what he knows best: things that are really, ridiculously funny and amusing. He draws much of his material from his own experiences and friends.


And then there’s his Indian Friendster Raza who writes:

I remember this one magical summer Jon and I spent in Nora Ephron’s Manhattan, where we watched animated features and romantic comedies, ate dim sum and rode the subway. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. There was also the incident at [a certain movie studio where I took really long lunches … I mean worked], but I’m not allowed to talk about that.


Is it possible that we have located the ur-Harold and Kumar? Could this prove the Rosetta Stone to unlocking the secrets of this milestone film? Yeah, whatever.
[Thanks Carone!]

Categories
Shallow

A Berg type film

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Friday Night Lights
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Collateral
Witness an emerging trend in Hollywood marketing: if your film in some way involves Peter Berg (perhaps best known as the actor-turned-Very Bad Director of Very Bad Things), we can be sure that the trailer’s typographic design will feature a simple sans-serif font (in the vein of Helvetica Neue) partially obscured by blurry type in the background.
We’ll wait to see Berg’s imaginatively-titled Hip-Hop Cops in 2005 to see if the trailer adheres to the Good ‘n Berg (Style) Bible.

Categories
Grave Unintentionally Hilarious

Unintentionally Hilarious Photo of the Moment, Vol. 32

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Categories
Shallow

It’s Raining Men!

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TIME, Aug. 9, 2004… The New York Times Magazine, Aug. 8, 2004
Update, Aug. 8, 2004:
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Parade, Aug. 8, 2004

Categories
Grave

President Bush’s most flattering, least-confrontational pose ever

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Categories
Shallow

As ‘Wicker Park’ approaches, we present this definitive and comprehensive list of good, quality films starring Josh Hartnett

 
 

Categories
Grave Versus

I’m Academy Award-winning actor George C. Scott, and I’m reporting for duty

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Presidential candidate John Kerry, who renounced his Vietnam war medals in the early 1970s.
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General George S. Patton Jr., as played by actor George C. Scott, who renounced his metal Oscar in the early 1970s.

Categories
Shallow

HOT Literary Accessory: Axes

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“Hot Trouble,” Abigail Vona from Rolling StoneHatchet-Man Dale Peck

Categories
Grave

Gloria Emerson, 1929-2004

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Gloria Emerson
Speaking of the fall of Saigon
If female journalists were as lionized as their male counterparts, Gloria Emerson would’ve already gotten the full All The President’s Men treatment by now. I see a young Ali MacGraw or Diane Keaton circa Looking For Mr. Goodbar, or, if it were made today, Parker Posey as the compassionate, fearless Vietnam war reporter for The New York Times who died this week.
Of course, we’ll probably never see such a movie, since female journalists only get the biopic treatment if they’re martyred or the “based on a true story” treatment if they’re beautiful and tragic. Meanwhile, this asshole has a film about him, and this schmuck is about to, despite the fact that neither of them has half the talent, bravery, or impact as Emerson had.
Unlike those pishers, Emerson actually reported her stories, even going so far as to risk her life in war-zones like Vietnam and Gaza. But while Emerson’s male colleagues seem to have had a jones for the danger, the rugged manhood and camaraderie in the theater of war, Emerson brought uncommon compassion to her reporting. As Craig R. Whitney’s Times obit pointed out:

War as she wrote about it was not ennobling but debasing, a misery that inflicted physical suffering and psychic damage on civilians, children and soldiers on both sides.

Emerson wasn’t merely the war’s reporter, she was its conscience. She probably wouldn’t say that about herself, but she almost did when she said:

Vietnam is just a confirmation of everything we feared might happen in life. And it has happened. You know, a lot of people in Vietnam—and I might be one of them—could be mourners as a profession. Morticians and mourners.

She was such an important figure of that era, Richard Avedon gave her the full icon treatment with one of his myth-making portraits, which caught her mid-word, mid-thought, and mid-smoke, looking very much the model of forthright intelligence and intense focus.
As it turns out, there sort of is a movie about Gloria Emerson, or, at the very least, a movie that features her in her prime. In the 1988 documentary Imagine: John Lennon, Emerson pops up in a hilariously confrontational interview with the ex-Beatle who was then embarking on his anti-war “give peace a chance”/bed-in phase. Emerson chastises Lennon for his attention-grabbing antics and his Rolls Royce, repeatedly calling him “my dear boy,” and cutting him off again and again. Lennon, knowing he’s up against his rhetorical better, can only roll his chewing gum in his hand, make jokes about “the moptops” and act like a petulant child.
The only other person who got up in John and Yoko’s shit more in that film was cartoonist Al Capp, but he came off like a crotchety oldster, Bob Dylan’s out-of-touch Mr. Jones, whereas Emerson came off like someone who told it like she saw it, and knew exactly whereof she spoke. She stole the scene in John Lennon’s very own film. I guess she got her movie after all.
Gloria Emerson was 75.