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March 01, 2006Didya Hear the One About the Gay Cowboys?
Introduction Gore Vidal, Historian, Author, Homosexual: Essentially, since the dawn of recorded human culture, there have been Brokeback Mountain jokes. Dear Mother, Father, Grandpapa, and Suzy First, I will tell you I am well and doing my part for America. But I am lonely here in the trenches despite the companionship of my platoon. Through scares and some close-scrapes, we have grown into a close-knit group, though not in a Brokeback Mountain sort of way. The Teens: Will Rogers opened his "Follies" in 1916 with the joke, "I just got back from Brokeback Mountain, and man is my asshole tired!" Audiences ate it up and Rogers' catch-phrase, "I never met a man I didn't like" became shorthand for Brokeback Mountain jokes. The 1920: Here we see Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll, aka radio's Amos 'n' Andy performing their Brokeback Mountain parody, Brokeblack Mou'tain: Amos: I's so broke, I can't buy me no mo' alchyhol to sit 'round and be 'mo shiftless, Andy!
WW II: Brokeback Mountain jokes weren't solely an American phenomenon. Here we see Adolf Hitler telling Benito Mussolini his best-known Brokeback Mountain joke:
Q. How many gay cowboys does it take to watch a flock of sheep, Mr. President? A. Wanna find out? I've always admired you. In 1964, Comedian Lenny Bruce is arrested for his infamous Brokeback Mountain routine at Cafe Au Go Go in New York: "Everybody gets Brokeback, baby. Everybody. I don't care who you are, you get outside the city, you leave behind the wife and kids and go into those woods and... you... become... gay. Everybody, baby. L.B.J. L.B.J. gets Brokeback. It's a fact. He gets all in that rucksack, snuggles all up in there with Dean Rusk... Oooh, Dean. Ooooh, I love ya, baby. Brokeback President, baby!He served three weeks in jail for obscenity and "baby" abuse. In May 1968, Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley debate Brokeback Mountain jokes at a forum sponsored by Commentary magazine. Buckley famously tells Vidal, "Sir, if it ain't Brokeback, you'd be cautioned not to fix it." Vidal responded, "What's broken, Mr. Buckley, is the system. But perhaps I'm making a Brokeback Mountain out a molehill." Later that week, Buckley sued Vidal. Vidal counter sued and the cases finally made it to the Supreme Court in 1975. He will go down in two, or, Ennis, I'll quit you. In 1972, Bob Hope shares a Road to Brokeback Mountain era joke with President Richard Nixon. Some historians believe the missing 18 1/2 minutes on Nixon's White House tapes may have been one long Brokeback Mountain joke made by Nixon Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman. Mel
At the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast of Frank Sinatra in 1977, Redd Foxx accuses Dean and his former comedy partner Jerry Lewis of being gay cowboys: "I know what Carol The
Dana Carvey debuts his character "Lyle the Effeminate Heterosexual" on Saturday Night Live in 1989 in a skit called "Effeminate Heterosexual Mountain." The skit is such a hit, every subsequent episode of the show contains a retread until Carvey leaves the show in 1993. In 1992, social critic Francis Fukayama declares "The End of Brokeback Mountain jokes" in his book The End of Brokeback Mountain Jokes and the Last Man. Whoopi Goldberg and Bruce Vilanch confer on some cutting edge Brokeback Mountain jokes at a dress rehearsal for the 66th Annual Academy Awards in 1994. In its October 13, 1997 issue, The New Yorker finally publishes Annie Proulx's "Brokeback Mountain" for the first time. Centuries of gay cowboy jokes finally make sense. Sex and the City debuts on HBO in 1998, featuring a groundbreaking fifteen minute pun-filled riff on Brokeback Mountain including the following gem from Samantha played by Kim Cattrall: "Sweetie, you can never be too thin or too Brokeback." Kristin Davis' character, Charlotte, replies, "You are so bad!" And they all order more $14 drinks. Al Gore claims to have invented Brokeback Mountain jokes in a 1999 interview with 60 Minutes' Ed Bradley.
On December 9, 2005, Focus Features releases Ang Lee's film version of Brokeback Mountain. Americans regain their ability to tell hack Brokeback Mountain jokes again. First the bloggers, then the late night chat shows, then the President, then Willy Nelson. Somehow everyone understands that if they stop making Brokeback Mountain jokes, the terrorists will win. Today The New Yorker publishes William Haefeli's Brokeback Mountain-themed cartoon in its December 26, 2005 issue. Someone mocks up a parody of Brokeback Mountain and Back to the Future and puts it on the internet where Brokeback Mountain jokes grow like kudzu—gay cowboy kudzu. Then someone else renders Brokeback Mountain in Lego—gay cowboy lego. Brokeback Mountain jokes enter their Silver Age.
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