September 7, 2005
We hold these truths to be self-evident, namely, that you're imbeciles
You Voted Me into Office, but I'm a Fucking Idiot, Round 1 Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, said the administration is "getting a bad rap" for the emergency response. Factual Refutation (fig. 1a): Europe is about one-fifteenth of the world's total land area...Area: 4,000,000 square miles including adjacent islands By Sen. Stevens' logic, that would make America's Gulf Coast region equal to roughly two-fifteenths of the world's land mass. That's some awesome Bush-Brand Science! You Voted Me into Office, but I'm a Fucking Idiot, Round 2 "We are just in the beginning of the hurricane season," said Senator Lisa Murkowski, Republican of Alaska. "What happens if there is another hurricane?" Factual Refutation (fig. 3f): Hurricane season officially descends on the Atlantic June 1st. By Sen. Murkowski's logic, we get to re-experience our entire summer all over again! This means you can ask out that girl at the beach who was being all flirtatious and shit, but you were too cautious, too tentative. Thanks, Sen. Murkowski! So, are they this stupid and misinformed because they're Alaskan, or is it because they're Republicans?
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