February 4, 2005
The low culture Consumer Advisory

marlboro-1.jpgPerhaps you've seen the ads for Marlboro Seventy-Twos in Seventeen magazine, while watching MTV, or at your local youth center. And perhaps, like low culture, you've been tempted to find out more about Philip Morris' newest teen sensation and buy a pack. Don't.

A quick phone call to the suicide hotline at Philip Morris revealed that the "Seventy Twos" are merely shorter cigarettes. That's right - no value-added tar, chemicals, toxins or tobacco - it's just less cigarette at the same obscene price. If the tobacco companies can't be trusted to offer their consumers the best value, can they be trusted at all? Probably.

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

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« President Bush displays the costs of continuing with his current policies | (low culture) | Another Campaign Promise Broken »

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
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