...Aaaaand we're back. Boy, folks, we've got another Heinz attack. Senator Kerry...assuming you're capable of it, and I understand if you're not, since she controls the purse strings in your family...get that woman of yours to stop shooting her reckless mouth off! It's this sort of disrespect that she's been purveying lately that really cheapens this race for the White House and, I'm telling you, will cause you to lose the election this fall. Regular listeners of this show will recall that it was just last week that the billionaire ketchup heiress told a prominent and respected reporter to "shove it," totally unwarranted, I might add, and, it turns out, the woman-who-might-be-first-lady has done it again, folks.

Yesterday, at a campaign stop for her husband, Teresa lashed out at several people who had gathered to support our president. You know, a counter-measure of sorts, to combat all the attacks on Bush. These supporters were at this Kerry event, out demonstrating their right to free speech — it's called the first amendment, folks — and gently shouted some cheers of "Four more years! Four more years!" And Mrs. Heinz turned to the crowd, a bunch of Democrats, and said, "They want four more years of hell." And these Democrats in the crowd totally ate it up.

They're all Bush haters, but we knew that. Sen. Kerry added to the fray when he laughingly expressed support for his wife's anti-Christian insults, and called these protesters a bunch of "goons." Unbelievable, folks. Unbelievable. Do they not have God down there in Africa, where this woman's from?

Also, need I remind you, folks, I hate homosexuals.