April 22, 2004
Sloganeering

Pottery Barn claimed yesterday that its stores in fact do not use the “You break it, you buy it' policy. While this should prove adequate to blow the lid off that lying buffoon Bob Woodward, what will become of Colin Powell's catchy slogan for geopolitical strife? low culture provides some alternatives:

Ikea Rule: Some assembly is required
Olive Garden Rule: When you're here, you're family
Starbucks Rule: Contents may be extremely hot
Dominos Rule: Delivered in thirty minutes or it's free
Outback Steakhouse Rule: No rules, just right
Burger King Rule: Your way, right away
Pringles Rule: Once you pop, you can't stop
Visa Rule: And they don't take American Express
Ja Rule Rule: Holla Holla
Crunch Rule: No handjobs in the steam room

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:
« low culture's Only American Idol Post Ever | (low culture) | Page Six's union sympathies: International Brotherhood of Typo Writers »

Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
What "They" Say About "Us"

"Humor so black you're afraid to laugh." - Playboy

"Low Culture gets more mileage out of headlines and photo captions than most blogs get out of endless pages of text." - The Week

"No irony slips past Low Culture." - Daniel Radosh

"what's happened to this site? it used to be one of my favorites. now there are never new posts and when there are it's bloodied and dismembered dead bodies... grave, indeed." - Some Guy Named Tim

"I don't get it." - Some Person Calling Him-/Herself "Cubeoid"

Text Ads, our nod to the Plebes
or, "Fun with Adblockers"

Recent Artifacts
entertain me! (Pilot #2)
entertain me! (Pilot #1)
Domains Is Not Cribs
The Waverly Interns (...Sigh)
Good AIM/Bad AIM (Target Practice)
Original video content! We're just like everyone else! The Office: A Documentary Film by Ken Burns
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Does That Also Go for Zarqawi?
Yes, But Bizarro Superman is as Queer as a Three-Dollar Bill
Do They Have a Friends and Family Plan?

The Archive Office (Front Desk)
April 2007
March 2007
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003

Additional Information
Looking for an RSS Feed, or want to syndicate this site? Click here for that purpose.

Some of our older readers may be asking, "Whatever happened to that 'famous' two-column, Shallow and Grave-formatted version of Low Culture?" Rest assured, we've archived that motherfucker here.

This here site, though, was built and crafted by none other than Low Culture Design & Media Mega-Powerhouse HQ.

Powered by Movable Type 4.34-en