February 17, 2004
ADVENTURES IN THE SCREEN (ADAPTATION) TRADE
Getting your article optioned by a film producer is the goal of any good journalist. Just ask New York Times Magazine writer (and frustrated blogger bugbear) Peter Landesman, whose article, The Girls Next Door has been optioned by Roland Emmerich. What, you didn't read Landesman's article? Doesn't matter, sucka: it's gonna be made into a movie. (Which you can also not seebut the ads will be everywhere!) Here's the trick: make it easyexceedingly easyfor the low level D-girls who read it to see the film as they read your article. Short of sub-heading your piece "It's Pretty in Pink meets Set It Off!," here are some simple tips for getting your article optioned, using Jim Windolf's great Raiders of the Lost Backyard, the story of three boys and their amazing quest to recreate Raiders of the Lost Ark shot-by-shot from this month's Vanity Fair: Make your subjects 'types' (or better yet, stereotypes): Write a funny set-piece that jumps off the page and onto the screen: Create some colorful atmosphere and supporting characters, maybe a role for Henry Gibson: Throw in some teenage romance for the girls: Show conflict, the better to create meatier roles: Make a cameo for a famous person who can also exec. produce the film: Toss in an uplifting ending that will make audiences cheer!: It's Rushmore meets Waiting for Guffman! Too bad those Culkin boys are all old now. Hey Hollywood, option this story now and let's see it next summer!
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