Wow, and I thought the drunken, marauding fool at the New Year's Eve party I attended was an asshole. Over in Seattle, some jagoff comported himself (or herself) even more offensively as this anonymous writer tells it:

Somehow you came to my party, drank my booze, pissed in my toilet (or on my lawn, who knows), talked to your buddies in my living room, and spent some time in my hallway, where you stole from the wall a painting that my friend had made. I know the Polaroid of the painting left in its place was the punch line to your self-serving humor, but we're not laughing here.

The Polaroid is the tip-off that this person is probably gonna pull the lame stolen gnome gag (as seen in AmŽlie). Do us all a favor, buddy, and just give back the painting. Please.