low culture: Wow, I was just saying Brett Ratner couldn't be more annoying. Boy, was I wrong!

December 17, 2003

Wow, I was just saying Brett Ratner couldn't be more annoying. Boy, was I wrong!

Brett Ratner, Hollywood's "hyperactive, self-promoting no-talent" (per the geniuses at LA Innuendo) is getting serious. Seriously serious! Serious—to the max! Spielberg doing Schindler's List serious! Seriously.

The auteur behind the reportedly hilarious "Asian people talk funny/Black people love the dance" epics Rush Hour 1, 2, and 3 and the cynical stab at a "perennial" holiday favorite (annual Christmas-time broadcast=ka-ching!) The Family Man is set to direct something called Josiah's Canon. (Don't even get me started on Ratner's hubristic remake of Michael Mann's Manhunter.)

According to Done Deal, Josiah's Canon tells the jeering—I mean searing—tale of:

A Holocaust survivor [who] leads the world's foremost team of bank robbers. The criminal mastermind sets his sights on an supposedly impenetrable bank in Switzerland, which holds special appeal: It purportedly houses gelt deposited by Jews prior to the Holocaust.

Awesome! It's The Italian Job with Jews! Topkapi with yarmulkas! I can hear the film's big catch-phrase already: "Zai gezunt, motherfucker!"

Rat, might I recommend this guy for the lead? He's already done the Hasidic Jew thief thing.

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

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