December 5, 2003
From the Dumbing-It-Down Desk

Tired of slogging through Elvis’ baroque metaphors simply to find out what you should think about The Last Samurai? Don’t have the time to read all of A.O.’s musings on Honey?

Worry no more. low culture’s Dumbing-It-Down desk is here to, well, dumb-it-down for you. In the interest of bringing ourselves that much closer to the depths of Entertainment Weekly we’ve scientifically assigned the traditional star ratings to all of today’s Times movie reviews. (Please note that these synopsis reviews do not reflect the opinions of low culture, they reflect the opinions of The New York Times.)

The Last Samuraitwohalfstars.gif

Honey twohalfstars.gif

Monsieur Ibrahim twohalfstars.gif

What Alice Found twohalfstars.gif

Forget Baghdad twohalfstars.gif

Posted in a Shallow fashion.

Other Recent Items of Interest:
« Unintentionally Hilarious Photo of the Moment, vol. 11 | (low culture) | Proposed SNL skits for Al Sharpton and Sharpton's notes to writers »

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jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
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