September 16, 2003
Pennies From Heaven
File under: A Fool and His Money. Ripping a page out of the Yippie! handbook, misguided philanthropist-cum-moron Kevin Shelton shot $10,000 in two dollar bills from his "cash cannon" at a mall in St. Petersburg, Florida. Six people were injured grabbing for the cash; one person broke an arm. "They were trampling all over me," 14 year-old Lashawnda Marin told the Washington Post. And that was just on the line for Mrs. Field's double fudge cookies. (High-O!) Not a funny story, but the fact that the police spokesman quoted by the Post is named Bill Proffitt is pretty darn funny.
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